Rainy Day

We Calcuttans need to wake up to a fact. The MET department is correct, on certain accounts.

I agree we have grown up at a time when the Calcutta weatherman had no equipments and most of his " forecasts" were pure guesses. I agree that on most accounts when the forecasts predicted a severe shower and our mothers would arm us with the "raintime attire" which would comprise of the following:

a) a yellow Duckback raincoat which smelt like the car tyre and the buttons of which would invariably fail during a quick shower

b) an umbrella which could conversely be used to hit out worst enemies at school

c) if the above to failed to do their needful service, a Coldarin

However on most of these occasions there was no scope of using these tools as there was no downpour as promised.

Maximum that did occur was a slight drizzle. That of course did not make us use any of the given array of equipment.

Funnily enough, the days when you did not take that umbrella would be that fateful day when the sky would decidce to tear down. Not having the umbrella would mean you could take a walk back home instead of taking the bus or the auto. Yes, there would be red noses and an immense amount of sneezes to take care of later, but who cares?

This Monday was one such day. No, its not one of those days when i was not carrying my umbrella. In fact i have a brand new one. But yes it was definitely one of those days when I passed some frivolous comments about how worthless our Calcutta weatherman is and why his prediction of a cyclone will not be anything more than a slight drizzle and breeze. Hence i braved all odds and went ahead.

While sitting in the cozy confines of office I could hear the occasional window pane breaking and tree breaking but the actual tumult was far from what my imagination could even begin to fathom.

It was late afternoon when most offices called it a day due to power cuts (trees had fallen on high tension wires) or water entering premises. There was no conveyance whatsoever. Buses and cabs refused to go even when paid at a premium simply out of fear that they might be hit by a chance tree or lamp post. The look of the city was essentially bare. Trees had fallen all over the place. A bus stand was smashed to bits. Hoardings stood naked as the advertisement sheets had been torn to shreds. And hundreds of people were walking on the roads, in that perfect zombie walk you find only in Holocaust movies. Shoes in one hand, trousers rolled up to the knee, an umbrella precariously dangling in the other hand, they were walking. They kept to the middle of the road avoiding the trees and other allied items which might endanger their lives. The few vehicles which were plying were being mobbed.

I myself stopped a few cabs asking for a lift. By this time my umbrella was broken, I was soaked, and I hated it. After long trudging through mud and muck, above broken branches and lamp posts I finally reached home to some hot coffee and noodles.

So, lesson learnt: Do not mistrust the weatherman

Half life

Maggi in the microwave

A sandwich bite’s allowed,

No spread out platter

No time for dessert

I am running; I am running,

Have to get up on that bus

Can’t let it go, Leading this half life

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

Disconnected..disturbed

Losing my temper

Losing my soul

So many special people

No time or words for them

Losing myself

Leading this half life

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

Gloom

My company eats my salary for breakfast, my happiness for lunch and my peace of mind for dinner.

Employers around the world are making life hell for employees. Suddenly the same " human resource" who were assets to the company have become their liabilities. As our Inbox is spammed by Boss/Company bashing messages and forwards the truth is that the employee is left at the end of the day like the donkey who toiled breaking his bones and still got water and peanuts for the day meal!

Okay lets not get into the economics of world finance, lets concentrate on our country. This was the year that some unfortunate people like me and my classmates graduated and went out into the big bad world looking for that elusive dream job. Thank God we were sane enough to expect that our first jobs would not be our dream jobs! However none of us had expected to be hit by such a nightmare.

Most companies went on a hiring freeze. People are throwing jargon at random, and the funny thing is that most people are believing in them. "you cannot expect a good job in this gloomy market"; "We are unlucky to have been hit by recession" etc. etc.

A report shows that in the past few months " recession" is the most popularly used word on the internet. Just goes to show the depressed environment that we are living in. But the fact of the matter is that India has not been hit by the recession at all. What exactly is the recession? A recession is a decline in a country's real gross domestic product for two or more consecutive quarters, according to http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/recession

Hence before our country even went from one quarter to another how exactly can you say that we are facing a recession? What we are facing is a slowdown, and not a recession. Anyway how does it matter, because our employers are using the R-word as the alibi to do almost anything to the employees. Cut pay, cost cutting, lay offs, and a million other fancy sounding things which basically leave us all screwed up at the end of the day. It is a smart ploy that these guiys have come up with but what they do not realize is that the wheel of fortune shall turn. The same employees who they treat like trash, are actually the asset, and if you do not value your own asset, you are in for trouble.

The Crusoe life

Living the life of Robinson Crusoe is tough. Especially if you are not living on an island. And you can just walk out of the door and get a sealed pack of potato wafers.

The fact that I was going to be catapulted into such a scenario came to me as a divine sign a few days ago. My laptop started acting funny. This came at an inopportune time as I had still not recovered from the grief of the sad demise of my desktop computer a few months back. I saw a huge amount of lively music and wacky photographs in a heap of dump and I could do nothing about it.

No intravenous or intensive care could do anything about it. So we indulged in a painful (for me) euthanasia and my friend through school and college lay dead., reduced to a piece of furniture.

Now my laptop had managed to salvage a part of my music and photo collection (I have lost my complete Pink Floyd and a few birthday bash pics though). So when my laptop started acting funny I had the biggest butterflies doing all sorts of things in my tummy. The power wasn’t coming. The screen would not shine bright the moment I hit the power button like it used to. I was totally angry, frustrated and generally dissatisfied with life. I wanted to shout at someone, but it felt like I was simply filling in a lot of noise in a cocoon and all the outer world could see was a Brownian motion experiment in process.

I was doing all sorts of social activities but I felt like no one could understand what I was going through.

Anyway that issue got resolved after I plucked out the battery and wiped off a huge amount of dirt with the help of painting brushes (Tip # for all those facing similar laptop problems)!

Today morning the Crusoe syndrome came back to haunt me, in an all new avatar. This time my other favourite gadget was on the firing line. My phone has stopped working. But it is not the fault with my phone. Vodafone has suddenly decided that they do not want to earn revenue through a valued customer like me. So what do they do? They stop all kind of calling facilities on my phone. I cannot make calls, no one can call me, the works. And it is a trouble my entire office is facing! The entire bloody series tends to fall into the trap.

I cannot call anyone, or receive any calls. Just goes to show how dependent I am on the phone. I am cut off from all civilization. I mean I can very well walk out and talk to people but I cannot do it from the comfort of my space. So , yeah, Crusoe had one hell of a time. I wonder how he lived through it.

just wondering..

There is a land A. In land A there is a king. The king is old. He has ruled the land for many a long years. Now he is weak. His ministers who once swore by him now have the audacity to raise their voices against him.

But he was not this weak old wreck always. In his heyday he was vibrant and rebellious. He had overthrown the king who was ruling then. He did not like the myopic view that the then king took. He thought the then king had a myopic view and there was the need of change. So he did all he could, young blood was flowing in his veins, he was strong. He overthrew the powers that be.

But today he is old. His own eyesight has become weak. He does not enjoy the authority he once commanded on the others. Now there is a new kid on the block. He speaks up, he is violent, he is ready for a fight. The king coils back. All the others who did not know how to oppose this king side with the kid.

The king is old but he is wise, he has seen the world and he has learnt. There were things he had done when he was young which he knows are wrong. He goes back on them; he brings in fresh views, sometimes contrary to his views of the young age.

Is it fine to keep land A under the old king? In that case A remains stable, there is less violence, A improves from the state that it is in. Or should the new kid take on the reins. A is put through a whirlwind again, there is instability, uncertainty.

Will the question ever be answered?

Life: School

Moving from one phase of life to the other always involves some amount of pain. However I am by nature an optimistic person, hence whenever I have moved to different phases I have tried to look beyond the immediate pain that is being caused to me to look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture being the next phase.

However this does not mean that these painful moments have not been painful to me per se. They have always come back to haunt me at a later time.

I remember the school farewell. I don’t remember shedding tears though copious amounts were escaping from the eyes of everyone around me. I was too excited to get out of school, to be attending college. It is true that I had some precious friends there. Friends whose weddings excite me, who call me at midnight on my birthday till date, who I could still spend hours chatting and laughing with. I knew I would miss them. But the prospect of a new life was so adventurous that at that point it seemed utterly pointless to be crying.

I had had my share of fun in school. There was nothing more to it after that, and deep down inside I sort of knew that that life had reached its point of saturation. Perhaps the end of school was coming at a good time, optimum to my understanding. Perhaps stretching it beyond the point where it was would make the entire experience distasteful. I wonder…

I miss school, true. However I would not go to the extent of saying that “ I wish it would never end” or “ it was the best part of my life” etc.

The sports classes were fun. The clash between the four houses was fun. I remember how completely vicious we would become when it came to defending the name of our house! No wonder Harry Potter was such a hot favorite with us back then. Our school organized several competitions among the houses. It could be sports, debate, drama almost anything. And the best of friends became worst of enemies during these. But even that was a lot of fun . I miss that.

I miss trying to hide our tiffin from that perpetually hungry girl, or telling the teacher that I forgot to get the Atlas so that she would turn us out of the class and we could chat undisturbed there, or drawing the cartoon of the teacher right under her nose or doing a million other things you do only in school.

I miss doing all sort of crazy things that I have done in school.

I remember our school had to get the classroom walls repainted because of all the unparliamentary stuff we had written on them with permanent markers. I remember slapping a junior because she panicked during a fire drill and would not run down the staircase. One of my teachers thought I would never get admission in any college. I remember going back and telling her she was right, I got into a university instead. I remember walking out of the morning assembly, bunking classes because we felt like it, experimenting with random chemicals in the lab, thinking we were saving the planet while we made recycled paper for nature club, cheating at toss to our advantage in a Throwball match, hiding Archie’s comics behind History books in class, mimicking each and every teacher and school staff.

There were a few teachers who were a complete pain to be with. Then again there were others I respect till date and would still touch their feet on the road if I ever meet them.

One thing which was there in school which was quite a unique experience was the “I don’t care” attitude we could afford to live with. We did not have any worries on our minds. We did not think of deadlines, and bosses and career progression. We just lived life for the moment. I sometimes wonder how dangerously we lived. Who knows.. I could be rusticated for being caught bunking class and playing in the field. How silly we were to expect not being caught in the first place!

Then again there are loads of things that I half remember. Like there was this girl who smoked cigarettes in the washroom. Then gain there was a girl who had fallen in love with Akbar ( yeah the Mughal emperor). Teachers were bothered about the hemlines of our skirts! (why? Oh why?) There was a club which had only three members among the entire school population. There was a teacher we nicknamed Medusa because her hair looked like a million snakes and a hundred other odd things.

And like all things it came to an end. I am still in touch with my friends. We regularly meet up and spend time, and I know for sure this is for life. I have a few vey special friends who are from school and I know we will always be so. And these memories are with me. So why should I be pained because it’s over? I’m happy I went to the school I went to, and made friends with the people who are my friends. I guess that is all that matters.

New lingo..

Why have we become so driven by acronyms? Everything we talk about, we see, we use, places we go to needs to have a shorter name. It is sort of like giving a nickname, only it really is not so.

If you are not part of the acronym churning crowd you are not “in”. You must Lol and not laugh out loud. When we have a chat window open at work, and suddenly there is some high priority work which needs to get completed we inform our friends that we’ll “brb” and not be right back or better still they would say “ttyl” which is short for talk to you later. I must confess the first time I got that reply I was stumped! I had no clue what that meant. When I asked my friend he was aghast at my lack of knowledge.

This immense shortening of expressions is not only restricted to informal modes of communication. It has percolated into formal modes of communication too. In an extremely formal letter sent via e-mail you find “KFA” or “FYI” which are actually respective acronyms for “Kindly find attached” and “For your Information”.

We swear by the ATM, it is our life line; but very few of us really know that ATM is not Any Time Money or All Time Money but it actually is Automatic Teller Machine.

When you are out in a fab (which itself is a shorter version of fabulous) place hanging you do not check out nice looking people but you indulge in “NSP” which is nayan sukh prapti (Hindi for feasting your eyes). Things are LS (low standard) and btw (by the way) we are SC (super cool). Then of course there is "toldja" (told you) and "wassup" (what's up, which itself is pretty short!)

Hanging out with friends reminds me of this conversation I was having with a friend the other day. We had not met in a long time so she wanted to meet up. I asked her to suggest a place and she said” why don’t we meet at SCM?” Now my knowledge leads me to believe that SCM is Supply Chain Management which is a very painful paper and I would rather not get back to it. So I looked at her with a bewildered-this-totally-beats-me expression and she rolls her eyes to inform me that she meant “South City Mall”! Seriously?

Why do we have to make LSD( life so difficult ) ?

Love in the time of the Cell phone

The cell phone, as we will all agree has revolutionized communication. Our love lives have also not been shielded from it’s effects. In fact it has been changed forever.

Communication between lovers is a subject of much interest. In old times it would be the pigeon with a message tied to one of it’s feet. They would wait long hours pining for a reply from the elusive beloved. Then came an age where the servants, attendants and pages came in very handy. Instead of attempting a rendezvous with the lady the young man would seek a private moment with the attendant of the same lady only to covertly slip in a note into her hand with a couple of coins. Then of course came the age where you would befriend his best friend or brother/sister just to share a moment with him. Decoys are aplenty when the lover really puts his heart to it.

Nowadays love has taken an all new dimension altogether. No more are the lovers shy. She does not hide her lover’s secret letters in her bosom, or he does not hide a lock of her lovely hair in a pendant around his neck. Now they show off the fact that they are in love.

Coming back to the cell phone then…

For simplification sake I am representing the situation from the point of view of a girl. I am sure my readers can give inputs to the other perspective. So lets imagine this girl, who is talking to a significant other quite often on the phone but does not want nosy relatives (namely noisy kid brothers, tell-tale aunts etc.) , what would she do to hide this fact? Either the number would be bare, i.e. it would not be saved. But if you are calling an unsaved number too many times for your own good it is sure to raise some eyebrows if you have really nosy relatives. So she does save the number in the name of a very common girl-name, you know the sort of name girl you are sure to have been acquainted with at some point in your life. Some examples for ready reference – Upasana,Amrita,Sohini, Puja, Priyadarshini, etc.

Another phenomenon is the use of the hands-free device. Now as the name suggests if you are using the device your hands should remain free. But for a lover whispering sweet nothings on a public conveyance moving through a busy road it is a bit of a problem. The mouth piece of the hands free device is dangling near the collar, the ear piece is also poised in the ear rather precariously, much like the gracious ballerina on a tip-toe. With such minimal contact you can neither hear anything nor say anything which the other person (who is in an equally appalling position) can hear. What this leads to is the person pressing the earpiece inside the ear and stopping short of eating the mouth piece, which is held in position by the other hand. Hence, instead of being “hands-free” the device is successful in being “hand-engaging” ( no connotations please ).

And what is funny is that the content of their conversations is quite in a loop during such adventurous journeys.

“Hi, I am at so-and-so place, how far have you reached?”

“Hey, morning, will you be free for lunch today?”

“I have a client to attend today, how much work do you have?”

With a few service providers providing interconnectivity for free the lovers talk for hours on end even if they do not have anything to say, suckers for freebies that we are. I know people who do not disconnect the phone ever. They keep it connected all the time, anytime they would want to talk, they would take it out of the pocket start jabbering. I remember talking to a friend over a cup of coffee, and she suddenly picked up the phone from the table and started talking. We asked her what the deal was and discovered that the phone was connected all the while. It is like having someone hear whatever is happening in your life all the time. It is the closest I have gone to Orwellian eavesdropping.

Another friend of mine spoke to his girlfriend so much over the phone that even when they met he would not say bye when they bid adieu but “rakhchi” (which is Bangla for “I will hang up now”)

The communication is great and all that jazz, but at the end of the day are we losing that personal touch?

It’s just a phone, it’s not who we are.

Acknowledgement: My fellow passengers in ST6

What double standards man.

Why do men think they have the right to take all the decisions? No matter how much the world progresses they will always think they should rightfully have the last word.

They pretend to be broad minded and happy that women are doing well in their respective careers but they can never stomach the fact that some women have a mind of their own. Women can also take decisions, they also work, and they also feel tired. But for men they will remain the trophy wife who they can show off to family and friends.

You might think you are not chauvinistic, but you are so naturally, it's part of your make.

It is difficult for a girl to be dolled up all the time. But you expect that. If a girl wears specs she is a geek and too dorky for you eyes. But if a man is wearing specs it is a mark of intelligence. If a girl has put on a lot of make-up she is “loose” and “easy to get” and if she is dressed shabbily you will call her un-cool. Then again its fine for a guy to dress shabbily, that’s cool.

You think it is a woman’s right to pursue a career of her choice but when she does it you would like to give the approval. Why this patriarchal mentality? Isn’t this what independent minded intellectuals fought for?

If the child has to go for an excursion the school requires the father’s consent, why? Is the mother any lesser as a parent?

If this is how the world is to be, I guess the Elizabethan England was better. At least there women knew they were treated as lesser. But at least they made chivalrous men back then.

Sad KKR fan

The second season of IPL is on as everyone knows. It is a pretty enjoyable format of the game. I enjoy it quite a lot.

The only thing which is a bit intriguing is that though it is Indian Premiere League it is being played in South Africa! Other than that I quite enjoy it. When we go back home we can sit with a coke and some food and enjoy the game.

Everyone around me is shouting T20 is destroying the game; this is not how a match should be played and a series of similar stuff.

But I really do not see how a 5 day long game is awfully more enjoyable than the taut drama which unfolds in a couple of hours. I am not saying a Test match is a bad thing. It’s a nice format, just a bit trying on my patience.

However watching this year’s IPL has been very trying on my patience (since I was waiting for them to win); a nightmare, especially since I am a Kolkata Knight Riders fan. It’s funny how a team can be so lackadaisical towards victory. Cricket is a team game right? At least that is what I believed in at least, till I saw a few matches played by our dear Knight Riders. I mean each player comes and plays as if its gulli cricket. There is no apparent synergy in the team.

Fancy name they have got. A brilliant costume too, fashioned by the renowned Manish Malhotra (if you have no clue who that is, he is a fashion designer our country boasts of) I believe. Not that that is a surprise, considering Shahrukh (if you don’t know who this one is, well, then I guess, just die..) dearest is the promoter, proponent, advocate, stakeholder, shareholder, owner… what would be the right word I wonder.

Anyway, we have a reality show running up to the real deal( the IPL matches) , we have nice cheerleaders, we have the most controversial captaincy issue, an imported and highly learned coach.. but nothing can save the day.

Sourav Ganguly is not up to the job of leading the team. Of course he is not. I mean you just have to look at the team, perhaps it is the most unattractive array of players ever. Mr. Khan, when there is a premiere league game, the operative word is “premiere”. You select the “premiere” , i.e. , the best players. Not pick out the rotting apples in the basket at the highest price. But that is what Mr. Khan believes in, and since he is the one who calls the shots he is the one we shall all listen to.

Mr. Khan, you might suggest a certain Mr. Gavaskar to buy his own team, (he would certainly not ask you for his opinion if he did own one) but you are not doing a very commendable job with yours.