totally random..

A few days ago I happened to spend some time with a very dear friend. The daily rush to office and mundane work had sort of robbed me of the unadulterated funtimes that i once enjoyed.

However this chance meet and ensuing hours of completely senseless banter that the two of us indulged in has sort of rejuvinated me for a few months to come. Coming to think of it I really cannot discern a wide array of topics that we discussed, the few that made to our list were definitely not anything that would serve the planet or change the course of any lives!

What I did leave her place with was a sense of a small bird called pride, just because I am associated with someone like her. In a rash action of sounding petulant and fakely polite I must agree to the fact that I completely adore this creature for the sheer guts and grit she has.

To have ideals and beliefs is one thing and standing up for it is quite another thing. To argue is easy, I can totally see myself create a ruckus for something. But making your point in a fashion that would entail walking out o\f the comfortable confines of home is something i cannot even begin to imagine.

When put in a tight situation would I be able to react like her? would I have had the courage to lead a life alone? May be, may be not, I would never know. But then again do i want to?

Question

There is some large scale beautification work going on all over the city. We have roads lined with folklore images, traditional stuff like conch shells. Road islands are having fresh trees. The walkway is decorated with new bricks and the walls have murals.

Are we missing out on the potholes somehow? or the lack of coordination between our electricity suppliers and water suppliers, who have almost taken an oath to be digging up roads one after the other and especially during the monsoons?

work

The last friends you make are when you are in college. When you are in office you do not really make any friends. You might be part of a bunch you like to hang out with but they are never your friends.

It is the same competition here. You want to be the best. Just like in school. You want to be in the good books of the teachers (bosses here). But only the p[arameters of the assesment is different. It is not marks any longer which you are talking about. Here you get to see the colour of money and you don't want to take any chances.

You are always right and the others are all wrong. There might be things you have done the wrong way but people do not think twice to make it look like somone else's mistake.

and if you are not alert you get screwed.

The Good, Bad and the Ugly

It was a dark dank alley way, a lone figure walked on. Suddenly more silhouettes came out from the shadows. The figure walked on still. There was a tension in the air, a slight trepidation in the heart.. “should I go on? Should I walk back?” They suddenly surround the figure and there is no way to run, nowhere to turn back to. This would be nice, filmy nice, but nice. But nothing like this Joy Baba Felunath scene took place on 9^th June 2009 at noon in Saltlake, Calcutta.

What happened was this…

It was a bright, sunny, totally humid Calcutta afternoon. I was going out for lunch. As all lanes in the city would be at that hour it was a sleepy locality. I was walking, lost in my own ocean of myriad dreams. Suddenly a dog crept out from behind a car parked on the right. Now street dogs are so aplenty in the city that I have sort of come to terms with the fact that we must co exist though I really do not encourage us encroaching upon each others’ territories. So there I was walking. This seemed to be an innocent and good dog out for a walk just like me.

At this point of time I hear this snarl on the left and I see another one of the canine species baring it’s teeth. Looked pretty bad and gave me a cold sweat. I would be lying if I say that I was feeling “just fine” at this point. My mouth was going dry and I walked on without showing any fear. Now another dog leapt out from the left and this one looked ugly with its mottled brown body cringing around the spine in a bid to scare me. The first dog was tugging at my salwar, tried moving that leg and it bit deeper.

Okay, I decided, enough is enough. I had heard often that when there are street dogs near you which are hostile you need to relax, you should not run or shout, do not panic and you will be fine. I did all of these and I had three dogs at my legs! So I went AAAAHHHHHHHHH and ran. I ran as fast as that guy who is running in the Olympics for the last time in his career and he knows this is the last chance he has got to make his mark in history. By the time I reached safe territory I had torn clothing on my legs and people staring quite obviously at them.

And now I have to take silly anti –rabies injections for these foul beasts.

Postscript.. instead of heading for a hospital and getting an injection right away guess what I did? I thought walking around in a torn salwar was worse than death itself so i went to Shoppers Stop and got myself a pair of Lee jeans. Yes the HR wore jeans to office on a weekday.

Its only words, and words are all they have to take our heart away

What is the one thing you do not tell you kid to do when he is learning spellings in Kindergarten?

Do not watch the rear of any public transport vehicle (auto, rickshaw, bus etc) or trucks.

Have you noticed the most inane things that are written in a quagmire of flashy and loud paintings of attempts at a flower or a pretty girl? Lets start with the most obvious.

In bright, bold letters the word "Danger" is the most common writing you are likely to find. Now the spelling or this particular six letter two syllable word is a permutation and combination of an array of different letters in the alphabet (whichever the owner or the artist takes a fancy to) starting with D and ending with R. I have seen the following variations on different vehicles at different points in time:

• Danzar
• Danjhar
• Danjeher (perhaps he thought poison must have to do something with it)
• Denjer
• Danjer (ridiculously close to "Bangal" pronunciation)
• Denzar
• Denjar

etcetera.

The next is the various words of wisdom. "Traffic aain maniya cholun" (Follow the traffic laws in Bengali) written on the vehicles like autos and matador vans which are most likely to break the rules! There are of course others trying to ward off the evil eye of people who are jealous of your vehicle, no matter how old, weatherbeaten and dilapidated your motor vehicle happens to be. some I have come across are as follows:

" Hingsha koro na, tomar o hobe" meaning Do not be jealous of what you see, you shall also have success(here ownership of similar vehicle)

"Dekhbe aar jolbe, luchir moto phulbe" meaning You can only be envious and burn in jealousy at my vehicle!!

"Bure nazaar waalon tera muh kaala" meaning The one with the envious eye will be left with a black face

Or the more funny ones, taking a crack at the world and fate...

"Ma go Ma, to e ki chholona

matha bhora taak dile .. taaka dile na" meaning Oh Great Mother, what deceptiveness is this, you give me a headfull of baldness but no money in my purse. ( Ok translating is a tough job!!)

The pining of the broken heart...

"Love is sweet poison"

"Dard- e - dil ki dawa kya hai?" meaning What is the cure of the aching heart?

"Awaara dil ko samhal" meaning Take care of the flippant heart.

However my pick is a piece of wisdom regarding road safety which I came across a few days ago which took me 5 minutes to decipher which goes.. " Much rease na dena" . The cipher: Do not raise (accelarate) more than necessary (much)!!!!

almost

It was evening. I was returning home.

I was at a juncture of heavy traffic in Saltlake, namely, Karunamoyee. there were two private buses standing at the bus stop. A kid was getting off the bus. I began to cross the road. Suddenly I saw through the corner of my right eye another bus overtaking the one standing at the stop. By this time I am already half way across the road. The overtaking bus is fast and rash. The bus which was static for so long also starts and picks up speed.

All I could see was a headlight steadily growing in size, all I could hear was the roar of the bus engines. My right ear was all noise, my right eye a great yellow headlight. I could see headlines of newspapers, faces of loved ones, people shouting across the road.. it was completely crazy. I remember turning aroundlike a zombie, and walking back to the pavement. To me this entire thing was extremely slow, but of course all happened in a matter of seconds.

Shit! i almost got run over.

Rainy Day

We Calcuttans need to wake up to a fact. The MET department is correct, on certain accounts.

I agree we have grown up at a time when the Calcutta weatherman had no equipments and most of his " forecasts" were pure guesses. I agree that on most accounts when the forecasts predicted a severe shower and our mothers would arm us with the "raintime attire" which would comprise of the following:

a) a yellow Duckback raincoat which smelt like the car tyre and the buttons of which would invariably fail during a quick shower

b) an umbrella which could conversely be used to hit out worst enemies at school

c) if the above to failed to do their needful service, a Coldarin

However on most of these occasions there was no scope of using these tools as there was no downpour as promised.

Maximum that did occur was a slight drizzle. That of course did not make us use any of the given array of equipment.

Funnily enough, the days when you did not take that umbrella would be that fateful day when the sky would decidce to tear down. Not having the umbrella would mean you could take a walk back home instead of taking the bus or the auto. Yes, there would be red noses and an immense amount of sneezes to take care of later, but who cares?

This Monday was one such day. No, its not one of those days when i was not carrying my umbrella. In fact i have a brand new one. But yes it was definitely one of those days when I passed some frivolous comments about how worthless our Calcutta weatherman is and why his prediction of a cyclone will not be anything more than a slight drizzle and breeze. Hence i braved all odds and went ahead.

While sitting in the cozy confines of office I could hear the occasional window pane breaking and tree breaking but the actual tumult was far from what my imagination could even begin to fathom.

It was late afternoon when most offices called it a day due to power cuts (trees had fallen on high tension wires) or water entering premises. There was no conveyance whatsoever. Buses and cabs refused to go even when paid at a premium simply out of fear that they might be hit by a chance tree or lamp post. The look of the city was essentially bare. Trees had fallen all over the place. A bus stand was smashed to bits. Hoardings stood naked as the advertisement sheets had been torn to shreds. And hundreds of people were walking on the roads, in that perfect zombie walk you find only in Holocaust movies. Shoes in one hand, trousers rolled up to the knee, an umbrella precariously dangling in the other hand, they were walking. They kept to the middle of the road avoiding the trees and other allied items which might endanger their lives. The few vehicles which were plying were being mobbed.

I myself stopped a few cabs asking for a lift. By this time my umbrella was broken, I was soaked, and I hated it. After long trudging through mud and muck, above broken branches and lamp posts I finally reached home to some hot coffee and noodles.

So, lesson learnt: Do not mistrust the weatherman